Finishing off my evening make up with a dramatic red lip is something I like to do often. And by ‘often’, I mean whenever I can actually afford a night out. Which as a student struggling with finances, is something I’m unfortunately not able to do on a regular basis. However, being the faithful little lippy that it is, my MAC ‘Ruby Woo’ sits there patiently in my make up bag just waiting to be enjoyed and transform me into, in my belief, a somewhat put together ‘she knows what it’s about’ kinda gal.
I like to believe that by wearing red lipstick I am instantly channelling the classic beauty and sophistication of Rachel McAdams or Scarlett Johannson. Whilst this is painfully untrue, and quite frankly I’m just lucky if I don’t end up looking like Miranda Sings by the end of the evening, I do get somewhat of a self confidence boost and even a cheeky compliment or two throughout the evening.
That is until said lipstick migrates onto my teeth, in which case people are less complientary, rather I receive teeth pointing/rubbing motions from friends, or strangers. We can all appreciate the questionable face of a stranger when they inform you that you do in fact have lipstick on your teeth, they’re never sure if you’re going to thank them, or punch them. Although, even more embarrassing perhaps is the flicking through tagged photos from that evening in which I only just now discover my stained smile, in which case I’m now more Carrie (the horror movie, not Bradshaw) than Johannson.
Recently, despite the perils that entail my preferred ‘sophisticated’ make up look, I did take the plunge and decide to embrace the dramatic lippy for a friends engagement dinner. However, had I of known that eating a three course meal alongside ingesting too many glasses of wine whilst conversing with funny guests and wearing a cream blouse results in lipstick in places you never knew it could surface, then I think I would have stuck with a safer, less “you’ve got lipstick on your teeth, nose and chin babes” option. No lipstick at all would have been better in fact for this occasion. It is safe to say, photos of that evening have had a firm untag on Facebook.
In fact through my many ventures out with red lipstick I have learnt a few things, and being the kind gal that I am, I thought I would share my wisdom in order to prevent red stained teeth and clothing, as well as the inability to find a decent profile picture in which you’re looking socially acceptable in red lipstick. Eating, drinking, kissing, talking, wearing light coloured clothing and general facial movement are definitely a no no. Sitting pretty with a slight pout, smouldering stare and the occasional sip through a carefully placed straw in order to enjoy a glass of wine, is okay. Running your tongue along your teeth every time you’re about to open your mouth to speak never looks attractive, not if you haven’t learnt the art of subtlety.
I now have a new theory: Perhaps celebrities manage to remain thin because they’re constantly applying red lipstick, rendering them unable to eat on a regular basis in fear of Carrie inspired lipstick explosion. Albeit it’s not quite up there with Einstein’s theory just yet, but I think I might be on to something.
Red lipstick and I shall continue to have a love/hate relationship. Cautioning on the side of hate if I’m unable to get these stains out of my new blouse.
